rewritten scene
by Surrealshadows
Summary: my friends and i rewrote a scene from romeo and juliet...funny funny funny


Rewritten scene

So my friends and I rewrote a scene from Romeo and Juliet. Not sure which act or scene it is but those of you who do know will get a cookie if you tell me. So without further ado, (such a funny word ado…lol) we proudly present our version of a classical scene from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.

Disclaimer: we own the dialogue (sad thing is, this is how we talk to each other)

Benvolio: Mercutio, come on, lets go home. I'm hot, tired and I don't feel like messing around with those damned Capulets. I'm already on parole.

Mercutio: shut up! You're such an emo!

Benvolio: no I'm not you whore::pushes him:

Mercutio: you know as well as I do that you wanna bust a cap in their… I mean bake cookies::looks hopefully at Benvolio.:

Benvolio: bake cookies?

Mercutio::pokes Benvolio in the chest: who wanted to beat the crap out of Tybalt? You did. Who wanted to crash the Capulet's party::pokes him again: um…you did. Who called the nurse a whore? YOU DID! Don't play innocent with me Benvolio.

Benvolio: pssh that was all you. One more run in with the cops and I'm grounded 'til I move out.

Mercutio: shut up, you're being emo again.

Benvolio::sees Tybalt: oh snap here comes the Capulet.

Mercutio: pssh…so?

Tybalt: hey guys let's talk for a second

Mercutio: can we just skip that part and I'll just punch you?

Tybalt: just give me a reason.

Mercutio: what you're not man enough to start some thing yourself?

Tybalt: aren't you close to Romeo?

Mercutio: close? How close? Because if you're trying to make a point, I'll make point. :draws sword:

Benvolio: stop being stupid! The cops are right there!

Mercutio: its not like the cops are gonna do anything.

Enter Romeo

Tybalt: whatever, you're not worth my time. Here comes my friend Romeo.

Mercutio: yeah… he wouldn't be your friend if you paid him.

Tybalt: you are right. Romeo, you are a pansy.

Romeo: haha I'm pretty much your brother, stop being silly.

Tybalt: what are you on? I hate you!

Romeo: I don't want to beat your face in. deal with it.

Mercutio: why don't you want to fight him? Never mind, I'll fight him.

Tybalt: fight me?

Mercutio: no kill you!

Tybalt: bring it on!

Romeo: no don't fight

Mercutio: no this catboy needs to learn his lesson

They fight

Romeo: Benvolio! Hurry these guys are being stupid. Guys stop. Stop it now.

Tybalt reaches under Romeo's arm as he tries to break up the fight and stabs Mercutio before fleeing with his men

Mercutio: ahhh I've been shanked. Crap. You're families all suck so deal with it.

Benvolio: dude, that looks like it hurts.

Mercutio: not really. It's just a small gash the size of Road Island… where's a doctor when you need one?

Romeo: hang in there

Mercutio: oh this is nothing,. But you shouldn't have gotten involved.

Romeo: I'm sorry, I thought I could help.

Mercutio: Benvolio go get a doctor please. I damn both your houses. They have killed me. Go along and dance on my grave…huzzah! I ain't getting' any younger.

Exits supported by Benvolio.

Romeo: what has happened? I've killed my best friend, Tybalt has ruined my rep. ah, marriage sucks.

Re-enter Benvolio

Benvolio: Romeo, Mercutio is dead.

Romeo: it's going to be a bad week.

Re-enter Tybalt

Benvolio: here comes the jerk now.

Romeo: how dare you be alive when my friend is dead. Fight me now! Mercutio needs company.

Tybalt: it will be you with him in hell.

Romeo: we'll see about that!

They fight…Tybalt is killed

Benvolio: Romeo run. They will catch you in cold blood. Run!

Romeo: my life sucks

Romeo exits as citizens enter

Citizen: who killed Mercutio? Was it Tybalt?

Benvolio: Tybalt is right in front of you dead.

Citizen: come with me now to the prince.

Enters prince with his attendants, Montague, Capulet, their wives and others.

Prince: who caused this mess?

Benvolio: I know what happened. Romeo killed Tybalt who killed Mercutio.

Lady Capulet: oh my poor cousin. How dare Romeo kill a Capulet!

Prince: Benvolio who started this fight?

Benvolio: ok what happened was Romeo was trying to be nice to Tybalt but he just wanted to fight, so him and Mercutio went at it. He killed Mercutio and left. Then he returned and he and Romeo fought and Romeo won. I cross my heat and hope to die!

Lady Capulet: Romeo wouldn't be nice to Tybalt. He hates him. Please don't let him get away with this!

Prince: who shall be punished?

Montague: not Romeo. He was best friends with Mercutio and the law would have killed Tybalt anyway.

Prince" Romeo must leave Verona at once. His foolishness has cost his friends life and now his is on the line.

Exeunt


End file.
